Bananas
by Don Raphiel
Summary: Slight AU SR Slash, mainly implied if you ignore the last few lines. Rating for mild language and slash. Revolved aroung Sirius being ill and Remus with bananas. R&R Please, Enjoy!


A/N: Well here you all are, my S/R one shot fic.

You happy now Becca. Now will you shut up?

Warning: There is slash, and some mild language, other than that; it should be fit for a little kid.

Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters, or the setting (as its Hogwarts, and we all know who made Hogwarts). Banana's – by Don Raphiel 

Wonderful day, it was. Well the golden haired boy, who goes by the name of Remus Lupin, seemed to think so. He liked these kinds of days in late autumn, early winter, where the leaves on the trees had all died, sparing a few, and it was cold. Walking through the corridors of Hogwarts he passed students and professors a like moaning about the "freezing" weather, as they liked to call it. Remus personally doesn't know why they complained about the cold. He loved it. Especially the weather where it was not quite cold enough to be called freezing and definitely not hot enough to be warm. It just seemed appealing to him, to go walking. And today was no exception. The weather was perfect and the other three seemed to have gone off somewhere. The other three being Sirius Black, James Potter and Peter Pettigrew.

Just as he was about the exit via the main entrance, Sirius comes running down the stairs shouting Remus, by his newly made nickname.

"Moony! Moony! Help me Moony!" he screamed mellow dramaticly as ever.

"Yes Padfoot, what can I do for you this time?" He asked a little too impatient to out into the lovely weather and feel the cold breeze upon his pale coloured flesh.

"Help me. I'm ill." He said as he profoundly blew his nose upon Remus' baggy sleeve.

"Elk! S..i...r..i..u...s. did you have to do that? Now I have all your icky snot all over my sleeve." Moaned Remus as he tried his damned hardest to wipe it back on Sirius, but Sirius was having none of it.

"Yes I did. Know you've got to come and look after me, as I'm soooooooooooooooooooo ill."

"Well go ask James or Peter to help you. I'm going walking."

"I can't. James is off following Lily like a lost puppy. Peter is off following James around taking notes on what James does in his all to famous notebook. And neither of them have any hope of stopping as Lily is following James around, to make sure he doesn't hex any random person."

"So James is following Lily, who is following Peter who is following James and Lily?" Remus asked getting all confused.

"No, no, no. Lily and Peter are following James who is following Peter, while taking notes in Peters note book."

"But I thought Peter was following James, not the other way round?"

"Oh, I don't know. I'm all confused."

"No change there then Sirius."

"Hey, you can't talk. Remind me. Who was it that wondered when there birthday would be on a Friday 13th. When their birthday was infact on the 17th. Hmmmmmmmm."

"Hey you leave my birthday out of this." Remus said in his defence. Not saying that it was a very good defence either.

"Oh I'm sorry Remus. Now come and help me. I'm ill, remember."

"How could I forget? I got a snotty sleeve to remind me." Remus said dryly.

"Come on then, follow me."

Sirius thought it was necessary to pull Remus along after him as he was doing nothing but glazing out the window at the cold weather. As soon as they arrived in the dorm room and Sirius got back into his unmade bed, that he was in before he went to go find someone to look after him while he was ill. Just as Remus entered the dorm a few seconds after Sirius, and had sat down in a chair by Sirius' bed. Sirius proclaimed that he was hungry.

"R...e...m...u...s. I'm hungry."

"When are you not?" Remus wondered, as Sirius always seemed to be either complaining about being hungry, or actually eating.

"Shut up. I want some... bananas." Sirius said, as his eyes lighted up at the thought of mashed up bananas.

"Bananas Sirius? Are you sure you don't want any crackers."

"Hey, what is that supposed to mean?"

"Nothing, nothing, nothing."

"Yes I want bananas. Now go and get me some, please. Oh, and make sure that there is at least 20. I want 20 bananas."

"Ok, ok, ok. I'll be back in a few minutes with 20 bananas." Remus said as he wondered what the house elves would say, when he asked for 20 bananas.

When Remus came back into the dorm room, with his arms full of bananas, 20, as Sirius had said. What he sore shocked him. They're on the desk, where what used to be books and parchment that were now scattered on the floor. Was a chopping board and a knife, along with a masher.

"Sirius, what on earth have you got all that for?"

"Well my throat is really sore and I can't eat anything solid. So with the bananas that you have just got, you are going to mash the up. And feed me them on a spoon."

"I'm what!?" Remus asked just to make sure what he had heard was correct.

"I just told you, you should listen more. Now you have to mash the bananas and then feed me them. As my throat is too sore to eat solids. And talking to a person that doesn't understand plain English isn't doing it any good. Now get to work I'm hungry."

"Right. Right." Remus said not believing he was actually doing this for Sirius of all people.

A while later and many banana skins left, Remus had finished the mashing of the bananas.

"Right then Padfoot. I have finished mashing up the bananas. How are you going to eat it? As..."

"Arr CRAP!!!"

"What is it Sirius?" Remus asked as he looked round to see that Sirius had come up behind him, but not noticing the knife that was on the side as Sirius put his hand down. The very knife that Sirius had got for Remus to cut up the bananas, Sirius had thought that the sharper the knife the better for Remus.

"Padfoot, what the in hell are you doing. Your going to get blood all over the bananas I've just mashed. Hold on, blood? Sirius what the hell have you done to your hand?" He asked just as realisation hit home. Sirius was in trouble, his hand is bleeding, what in hell should Remus do. Of course he cares more about the bananas that have just been mashed than the fact that Sirius is injured.

"Remus, Remus, Remus, HELP!!!!!!!! My hand!!! It's bleeding!!!"

"I can see that!"

"I am injured, and all you could care about was the fact that the blood was getting in your bananas. Stuff the bananas and help me!!"

"Ok, ok, ok. Now hold still." Remus said as he got his wand out and was now rapping a bandage around Sirius' hand. "You should go up to the hospital wing. Come on I'll take you."

"NO!!!! Not there! Anywhere but there. I'm fine you see. Look. I can move my fingers, my wrist. It just hurts a little that's all." Sirius said with a pained look on his face as he tried to move his fingers.

"Hmmm. Ok if you're sure."

"Yes I'm sure. Now bring me the bananas over to the bed, while I sit down." But before Remus could even think about moving the mashed up bananas, he had to clean the blood away first. That only took a few seconds thanks to the use of magic. As Remus brought the mashed up bananas to Sirius, a thought came to him.

"Err. Padfoot, how are you going to eat the bananas, as you can't exactly pick up that spoon with your hand?"

"Well, it looks like your going to have to feed me then, aren't you."

"I think not."

"And I think so. Now hurry up, I haven't forgotten my hunger you know."

"Arr, what about the other hand?"

"But I'm right handed, I can't do a thing with my left hand. I'm not ambidextrous."

"Ambi... whaty?" was Remus' reply

"It just means that you should be able to do things with both hands, that's all. Well hurry up then, I'm starving." Sirius look of cleverness (does he even have one) was replaced with the look of both, hunger, and something else that looks to be of excitement.

"Ok. Well move your backside you there a little so I can get on the bed with you then." Remus said as he was trying to sit next to Sirius on the bed.

"A little more."

"Oh Moony, you're not that fat." Sirius moaned as he moved, again, to make room.

"Trust me Padfoot, I am."

"You got enough room now?" He asked irritated that after all this, he still hadn't gotten any food.

"Ok, open your mouth. The chu chu train is coming."

Sirius burst out laughing at this.

"What?"

"The chu chu train, I haven't heard anyone say that to me since I was a kid, even then it was my older cousin." Sirius said barley containing his laughing.

"Well - do you want me to feed you or not?"

"Yes, yes, sorry."

Just as Remus was about to feed Sirius, James and Peter burst through the door, looking exceedingly annoyed. But freeze just as they enter the room at what it is that they see. Remus leaning over Sirius feeding him, getting extremely close.

"Err, Moony, what you doing?" James asked after recovering from the shock, not only has Lily just turned him down (big shock), but now Remus is feeding Sirius.

"Well, Padfoot here, was complaining about how hungry he was, and seen as he can't eat solids, as he is ill, you remember, that's why you and Wormtail left, so you could have some peace, but you forgot that he'd come and find me, and make me look after him. Anyhow, I mashed up some bananas for him." Remus explained as if it happened every day.

"No Moony, I mean, what you doing, i.e. why are you feeding Padfoot? I didn't need his whole life story."

"Oh, well he cut his hand on the knife, like a silly person, and wouldn't go to the hospital wing." Remus said with a look of puzzlement on his face. "Yeah, Sirius, why wouldn't you go to the hospital wing?"

"Err, Prongs, didn't you say something earlier about having another try at getting Lily on a date with you?" Sirius said quickly to change the conversation.

"Oh yeah. Thanks Padfoot, well we'll be seeing you." He said as him and Peter left in search of Lily.

After Remus and Sirius was left alone, Remus managed to feed Sirius the rest of the banana mash, and was just clearing everything away, just about to throw the banana skins in the bin when...

"NOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! STOP!" Remus sent him a quizzing look, as if asking, 'What the hell are you shouting for?'

"The banana skins. There was another reason why I said bananas. You see, I knew I would be bored after eating, so you see, if we get some shoes, and random ones, preferably leather, you can use the banana skins to clean them."

"Ok, your not mentally insane."

"Nah, I leave that up to you Moony."

"Hey, unless you shut up now, or I'm gonna put these in the bin, and leave you alone to wallow in self pity for the rest of the day."

"Ok, sorry Moony, I'll stop. Now, where are the shoes?" Sirius asked as he stood up cradling his hurt hand to his chest, while looking around for some shoes.

Within the next 15 minutes, they managed to find 7 pairs of leather shoes in the dorm. They, well Remus, set the shoes on the floor in a neat line and put two banana skins next to each pair, with the other six skins in a pile on the floor, in case they need more.

They both decided to start at each end of the line of shoes, and meet in the middle. But that plan didn't really work, as Sirius had extreme problem in actually cleaning the shoes with just his left hand. So Remus plonked himself next to Sirius, but it was a bit to close, more like extremely close. It happened to be this moment in time that both James and Peter walked in.

James being the ever so observant one hi is, noticed the closeness of his friends, and just had to comment on it, "Err Remus, Sirius, why are you sat so close together??"

"Remus here..."

"Well, you see..." Remus and Sirius started, but got cut off mid sentence.

"No wait a minute, I don't want to know. Infact, I think it would be best if Wormtail and me left. Ok, yea right, err, bye." With that they left, Peter with the ever so famous confused look on his face.

After a while, when Sirius knew Remus had no intention of moving he decided to speak, "You know Remus, you can move now if you want."

"What if I said I don't want to?"

"Then if that is the case, I don't think that I would be too bothered in cleaning these shoes." Sirius said with a seductive hint to his voice.

"What if Prongs or Wormtail come in?" Remus replied while moving closer to him, if it was even possible.

"I don't think they'll be bothering us for a while." Said Sirius moving closer still.

Before another word could be exchanged there lips were sealed together on each other's.

A/N: Well there you go Becca, you happy now, and I am not freaky all the time.

To the rest of you reading out there (if there are any that is) hope you enjoyed it, and please review, I want to beat my other one shots fics. Yes, that is right, this is a one shot.

Till next time **waves hand** Bye


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